These two kind of go together, in that they were written very much about the same situation. If I had to pick a favorite among everything I have ever written, it would be these two. They pretty much say everything I needed to say at the time (and sometimes still do).
Awakening of a Dream
It grows slowly
Strikes suddenly and
Without warning
Following it is Pain
Betrayal
Denial
Frustration
Hopelessness…
Genuine
Preceding it is Comfort
Trust
Faith
Confidence
Hope…
Delusions
It enters your body
You welcome it
It sucks your life blood
Penetrating your mind
It controls you
Gives you the power to do anything
All the while
Tearing you apart
Eating you from the inside
You notice it
At last
Too late
You’re already dead
A slow painful death
Fed by love
Starved by confidence
Love…
You cannot have it
Confidence…
You don’t need it anyway
But you do
Still in sight
You grasp for it
Futile
So close
Yet so far
It eludes you
Maybe for the better
Maybe not
You turn your back on it
Good
Ignore it
Forget it
You can’t
It follows you
Envelopes your mind
Body
Soul
It feels warm
But it burns you
Vaporizes your blood
Hopes Dreams
The realization hits you
Hard
Unexpected
You’ve always wanted it
You can never have it
You notice it
At last
Too late
You’re already dead.
The Mortal Void
That which we cannot have
Tempts us
Taunts us
Makes us want it
We spend our lives
Trying for it
Not knowing why
Or even if we actually want it
But we do
We need it
It needs us.
Again it teases us
Comes ever closer
In a final effort
We grab for it
Success
It is ours
We have it
Want it
Need it
Or do we?
It becomes part of us
We let it
It comforts us
We savor it
Give ourselves to it
It dominates us
We submit our minds
Hearts
Souls
That’s what it wants
Complete submission
It destroys us
We don’t fight it
We can’t
It leaves us with nothing
No feelings
No confidence
No happiness
A total void
Life is a prison
And death shall be our release
We wish for it
It eludes us
That which we cannot have
Tempts us
Taunts us
We want it
Need it
But why?
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