Quotant Quotables

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
approval, La-Z Boy, whatever

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
and charges you interest for the time you had it but didn't need it. and refuses to give you back the fees you racked up for letting it sit dormant all summer.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
to commit more what? crimes? is this saying that by pointing out a victims weaknesses you are giving yourself free reign to victimize them even more as long as the cops are not expecting it? but, if you acknowledge the fault, wouldn't that put the authority figures more on edge and clue them in to what you are up to? So how are they caught off guard? That's why they are in authority, cause they know how to point out all of your faults (and anyone else's). See, I acknowledged the fault of this quote. You are caught off guard, so I can now move on to commit more crimes against your mental being!

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Unless you are a NASCAR driver, then always do left. This will gratify some people and bore the rest.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
be even more careful about getting hit in the head with medical books. You may die of massive head trauma.

We are not human beings on a spiritual journey, we are spiritual beings on a human journey.
ok, so correct me if I'm wrong, but does this mean we're all aliens trying to be human? Were the neanderthals the last "real" humans, and we were the space men who came down and wiped them all out and are now just trying to fit in the way we thing they would have evolved? And if they never evolved past that stage, just who are we trying to fool? You know what's scary about this thought? This means that terrible Cavemen show was really a reality show or a documentary

Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.
and having what everyone else wants

A man is not old until regrets start taking the place of dreams.
a man is old when wet adult diapers start taking the place of dreams. and when he stops regretting it.

Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.
really really fun exercise!

The road to success is lined with many tempting parking spaces.
shouldn't it be the road to ruin (or sin) that is lined with temptations? I would think the road to success would be a nicely kept 4 lane highway, maybe with a heavy security toll booth to keep out the riff-raff. afterall, the people at the end of the road are successful right? and with that success, I'm thinking they'd have some pretty nice cars. People like that would not bother with parking spaces, they'd just cruise right on through

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.
ok, I think I already addressed this in another quote, but I will say it again. If you don't worry about the future or anticipate troubles, what's the point of being healthy, and how will you know if you achieve it. And if you don't worry about the future, you are likely not to have one.


And from the mind of the great Robin Williams...

Ah, yes, divorce...from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
also from the ancient Italian word vorce meaning short and curlies, as in "she's got ya by di vorce"
and the Olde Tyme English "devyde your selfe" as in self castration to keep her from taking half of your manhood.

I like my wine like I like my women-ready to pass out.
wine ready to pass out? me so confuse-ed
I like my wine like I like my women too, smooth, australian, and with a yellow tail (oh wait...)

Do you think God gets stoned? I think so...look at the platypus.
Platypus proves that even God (being a man) ends up with parts left over when he tries to build something.

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.
Yup, cause everyone is entitled to their own opinions, even if they are all wrong.
If you were right, I'd agree with you. since you're not, I'll just point and laugh. and maybe throw rocks.

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.
Not only do they have nothing to lose, there's no way to tell if you won! "yeah, but you should see the other guy" does not apply
Also, never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with something bigger and heavier.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
Also a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs? cartoons (though I'm told they are better without the other crutches)
Then you get those people who CAN cope with drugs, and decide it would be fun to swing their crutches around like a sword and see how many people they can beat over the head (thank you reality tv)

We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
Ah, this also explains why the first animal to be cloned was a sheep. In case the cousins were all busy.

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.
I was given a little sparkler of madness. I like to wave it around and see what I can create with the afterglow.

a little spark? Robin Williams had the whole freakin bonfire!